page 7 ) 2017 UPDATE

2017 UPDATE

Page 7

You really can’t skip a year on a blog because the backtracking is just too complicated. Suffice it to say, there will be gaps, but I guess a gap here and there in our story won’t matter much to most!

Where do I begin?

I guess where I left off !

 MABEL aka Maybelline

Determined to have “ just one more Golden Retriever’ in this lifetime, we ended up with Mabel. She was a beautiful Euro Cream colored pup (we didn’t want the reddish one to remind us of our Bailey) and she was quite a handful – mostly for me.  Mr. R. was on pain killers around the clock, and so the care of the puppy was all mine, but he enjoyed her immensely. We just loved her to pieces and she brought as much joy as she brought work into the household. 

Running her in and out all day while trying to seed a new lawn and watering ( along with all of the care and other chores of daily life) became taxing ,and I believed I sprained my ankle, but kept on going. I tried a little O.T.C ankle brace for a few days, but it didn’t seem to help so it was quickly cast aside.

Suddenly, one day in July 2016, I went to step on the top stairs outside and the left  ankle actually snapped out from under my body causing the other ankle to buckle under me, and I rolled onto my right arm, breaking it in three places (along with the 2 ankles)  I later discovered a I had osteoporosis. UGH.

Laying there waiting for the ambulance. I knew our lives were about to take a turn, and this day, July 12^th 2016 marked something that would make a big change in our lives, and it did.

HEALTHSOUTH

My 17 days in Healthsouth Rehab in Ludlow were like  vacation!  God is very mysterious indeed. As I had been praying for respite and booked a retreat, He had other plans for me.

But what about Michael ?
How could he function at home without me?
My sister to the rescue!

Between visits to Healthsouth, she checked in on him daily, went to the house, called and brought him suppers every day. I got t reports – none of them good, and I called him several times each day and every night before bed. 

Healthsouth was just the R and R that I needed, but coming home to Mike and a rambunctious  6 month old puppy I was trying to train from a wheelchair proved to be a challenge.  Over time, I realized we just couldn’t keep Mabel, but it would be yet another heartbreak. Michael didn’t understand why he couldn’t just take care of her, but truth be told, most of his days were spent sleeping – from all the pain meds. And Mabel, like all puppies, was a handful and her worst offense was the jumping. The search for a new home was exhaustive.

People with acres of land could not believe I wouldn’t hand her over, but I knew it would be no different than opening my front door and just letting her go.   Mabel did not like to come when called. This was one dog who needed fencing.  Even people with small children were crossed off the list due to the jumping, albeit friendly leaps. I didn’t want any injuries.

Eventually, after a few months, the perfect couple came along. They had no kids ( Large leaping puppies are not a good match for young children) and  one care of their 2 acre lot was solidly fenced. To top it all off, the woman was a dog groomer and experienced in training as well...but they had me at the flowers!

They still email me updates and photos.

Mabel got very lucky,

OCTOBER 2016

As time marched on, Mike had been experiencing some issues which caused him to ask his oncologist about a permanent colostomy.  It seemed the tumor that started on the hip  (2 yrs ago) was wrapping itself around toward the back and weighing on the right kidney and the colon.
The doctor agreed  a colostomy would be a good option for a  better quality of life.

 Just a  few days before the surgery, Mike went into BMC for pre-op tests. The Drs. saw the tumor pressing on the right kidney, and  scans of his bladder showed it was full and quite stretched  yet he had no urge to go to the bathroom.

His oncologist office called us in for a quickie appointment.

The Dr. explained  we had two options: Either go into the hospital several days before his scheduled October 19^th colostomy for ( 2) nephrostomies OR  just after the colostomy.

Mike was nodding his head when I said :” Neither option. We will have Option 3!”
The Dr. looked puzzled and said :” But there is no Option 3”, and I replied :” There is now!” I refused the nephrostomies, and promised we would get his creatinine levels  down.

I just couldn't fathom  Mike having to deal with a colostomy bag and then 2 more bags in the back area near the kidneys plus his pain and dropfoot and everything else. 

I simply set his cell phone alarm @ every 2 hours and told him to go to the bathroom every time it went off. The Drs. told me it wouldn't work, but they tested his blood again before he was discharged from the hospital, and the level was at normal. They sent him home!

It seemed like the colostomy  went well until…

 THANKSGIVING 2016

Mike started complaining that his stomach hurt, and I chuckled that mine did too- since we both ate too much! (Who doesn’t on Thanksgiving?)

But later that night, I could see he had problems.  The stoma from his colostomy  prolapsed, and was huge, even escaping  the bag.  We went to the E.R. and the doctor took sugar ( yep, table sugar)  and water and then 45 minutes to work this stoma back in.

It was a technique I would copy from youtube later when I did it myself – numerous times. The  stoma rarely ‘ behaved’ and the colostomy was extraordinarily hard to mange.

Things went downhill from there.

On December 3^rd, 2016, Michael began bleeding. It’s a called a G.I. bleed and has not stopped since.

We were at the E.R. often, me hobbling along with the broken ankles and him waiting up to 28 hrs. in the E.R. Nothing could be done about the bleed.

Finally, they sent him home once , and he began to act confused. I sent him right back. They did a CT scan and said there “ might be ‘ a brain bleed.

I requested an MRI which showed very tiny lesions throughout the brain, consistent with metastasis.  His tailbone pain worsened , and I knew there was a tumor threatening his ability to walk every time he called out in pain.

His oncologist recommended hospice.

MERCY HOSPICE

We signed Mike in hospice in December of 2016, and by January things went rapidly downhill.

Some days were 'okay'  but others were horrible. It seemed bizarre. One day he was hooking up my printer, and sprinting off the floor like  teenager, and the next day he could not hold a cup of coffee without assistance. He would usually lose  control of his motor skills in the morning, and regained some in the afternoon.

But by late January, he suffered many falls, The E.M.T.’s were great about coming to the house and getting him back in bed.  It was no easy task and usually took two men.  I knew I was in trouble , but I didn’t want to see him in a  nursing Home.

I was able to snag one fabulous Home Health Aide to help me most mornings. She  got Mike out of bed and he was able to sit in the recliner and watch T.V.  …. But he still needed more.


On Friday, January 20, 2017, Mike was doing fairly well, and asked for sweet Italian sausage from the grocery store. But on Saturday, he wasn’t hungry, and although I thought a banana might be more appropriate, I did cook those sausages with peppers, in the hopes that the aroma might stir the hunger in him.  But in reality, he didn’t really eat anything more than a few bites of saltines or part of a doughnut since that Saturday… Hospice said not to worry about it, but we want to feed. It’s in our nature. Chicken soup? No. Tomato soup? Dumped. Your favorite cookies? No response.

“THE WEEKEND”
 
  January 21, 2017 seemed as though it could really be the final weekend.

Mike slid off the bed, and needed his brother and my son to lift him back on.  He was in terrible pain at the least little movement. He had a fever , and then was cool and clammy. Most of the time , he made no sense at all. His right leg could bot move.

I wanted to call everyone, but I kept asking myself :” Could this continue, and if so, for how long ?”  I wasn’t sure.

Trying to move him was akin to rolling  a large  boulder uphill. It seemed impossible.

Sunday into Monday he had a constant fever despite medication and had not eaten in three days.

By Monday. I called my kids and grandkids and had them say goodbye to him via telephone. I  continued to dose him with acetaminophen for the fever and all of his usual pain meds.

On  Monday morning, his new home health aide arrived, and I thought sure she would want to quit. Instead , she came right in and took charge. She even got Michael to shave a few minutes and eat 2 crackers, and have  drink. She was a miracle worker! It seemed as though he was  back ...  at least for now.


WHEREVER YOU GO


( -Gregory Norbet)

🎶 Sung  :

 Wherever you go, I shall go.
Wherever you live, so shall I live.
Your people will be my people,
And your God will be my God too.   
Wherever you die, I shall die.
And there shall I be buried beside you.
We will be together forever;
And our love will be the gift of our lives.

Spoken

I want to say something to all of you
Who have become a part
Of the fabric of my life.

The color and texture
Which you have brought into my being
Have become a song,
And I want to sing it forever.

There is an energy in us
Which makes things happen
When the paths of other persons
touch ours.
And we have to be there
And let it happen.
 
When the time
Of our particular sunset comes
Our thing, our accomplishment
Won’t really matter a great deal.

But the clarity and care
With which we have loved others
Will speak with vitality
Of the great gift of life
We have been for each other.

 🎵 Sung  :


 Wherever you go, I shall go.
Wherever you live, so shall I live.
Your people will be my people,
And your God will be my God too.   
Wherever you die, I shall die.
And there shall I be buried beside you.
We will be together forever;
And our love will be the gift of our lives.